Archive for Runet

Russian blonde joke

Posted in Cultural Impressions with tags , , , , on March 13, 2010 by Alec

This is the top-rated joke on Bash.org.ru, a compendium of funny Internet quotes submitted by users and one of the most popular Runet sites.  Russian humor can be very idiosyncratic, but this kind of joke can be universally appreciated.

Woman: Answer me honestly, yes or no, okay?
Man: Ask away.
Woman: Why do men make fun of blondes?
Man: Yes!

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Worshipping Chuck Norris, destroying emo sites: Olbanian language and Upyachka.ru, part one of many (?)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 19, 2009 by Alec
A still of the moving header that tops the page at Upyachka.ru.  The text reads, in deliberately mispelt and nonsensical Russian, "Animals chocho Upyachka. Upyachka upyachka!!!"

The moving header that tops the page at Upyachka.ru. As far as I or anyone else can tell, the text reads, in deliberately misspelled and nonsensical Russian, "Animals chocho Upyachka. Upyachka upyachka!!! Gaping jaws move back, repent! I'm an idiot! Kill me, anyone!"

The website Upyachka.ru is home to the hackers, nerds and bored, jaded youth of Runet, the Russian-language Internet.  It’s the temple of their rude quasi-religion, which worships Chuck Norris, Leonid from the film “300” and quiz-show champion Anatoly Vasserman. anatoly-chuck-and-leonid

It’s also the homeland of the slang language “Olbanian,” a corruption of Russian whose speakers systematically mispronounce words for comic effect (it’s not “Albanian,” but “Olbanian, “get it?). The most common, least offensive Olbanian slang terms are “preved” (instead of “privet,”or “hello”), “Zh’rchik,” the parody of Belorussian low-quality (as many Belorussian, and, I might add, Russian products are) lemonade brand “Zhivchik” that fuels Upyachka warriors in their struggle against emo kids, and “bzhni,” which, according to my friend Anton, can mean “something bad…something good…or nothing at all.”

As they say in Olbanian, “Onotoley real’ni sledit za toboy!” — “Anatoly (“Onotoley” in Olbanian) really has his eye on you!”

P.S. The Russians tell Chuck Norris jokes, too.