Worshipping Chuck Norris, destroying emo sites: Olbanian language and Upyachka.ru, part one of many (?)
The website Upyachka.ru is home to the hackers, nerds and bored, jaded youth of Runet, the Russian-language Internet. It’s the temple of their rude quasi-religion, which worships Chuck Norris, Leonid from the film “300” and quiz-show champion Anatoly Vasserman.
It’s also the homeland of the slang language “Olbanian,” a corruption of Russian whose speakers systematically mispronounce words for comic effect (it’s not “Albanian,” but “Olbanian, “get it?). The most common, least offensive Olbanian slang terms are “preved” (instead of “privet,”or “hello”), “Zh’rchik,” the parody of Belorussian low-quality (as many Belorussian, and, I might add, Russian products are) lemonade brand “Zhivchik” that fuels Upyachka warriors in their struggle against emo kids, and “bzhni,” which, according to my friend Anton, can mean “something bad…something good…or nothing at all.”
As they say in Olbanian, “Onotoley real’ni sledit za toboy!” — “Anatoly (“Onotoley” in Olbanian) really has his eye on you!”
P.S. The Russians tell Chuck Norris jokes, too.